Wayne’s Word

December 29, 2008

The Surprise Christmas Present I Gave Myself

Filed under: General — Wayne @ 10:17 pm

BillfoldSometime in 2007 I lost my billfold.  This was not the first time that this has happen to me.  I’m a seasoned billfold-losing veteran.  However, usually I find it in a week or two.

That did not happen this time.  I kept expecting it to show up any day, but it didn’t.  I slowly began assembling a temporary replacement.  My old billfold, my old driver’s license, a spare credit card I didn’t usually use, etc. I kept checking my credit cards online–no one had started using them–so I felt confident that it was somewhere in the house.   Slowly, as the time I was separated from my billfold grew, I became less attached to it.  I felt my commitment to it slipping.   I got a new billfold as a present.  I continued my recovery by replacing my ATM, my credit cards, my library cards (HPL & UAH) and finally, the most expensive replacement, my driver’s license.  At long last, the long painful separation was complete and I could now get on with my life.

Then on Monday night, 3 days before Christmas, a received a mysterious call from Wal-Mart on University Drive.  Did I have my billfold?  I checked–yest I did.  Well, they had found it.  It was my old billfold–the one I had not waited for, the one I had jilted and rejected.  I felt a brief–very brief–pang of pity for it.  The caller didn’t know where it was found.  They were astounded when I told them I had lost it over a year ago.

I don’t remember the date I lost my billfold, but I remember that I discovered it was missing when taking Kristen to the church building for some event on a Saturday morning.  Since I do my marketing every Friday night at Wal-Mart (I sure know how to live), it makes sense that I lost it there.  However, I still can’t understand how it was lost for so long.  (BTW, “marketing” is to “grocery shopping” what “table tennis”  is to “ping pong”.)

I picked it up the next day (Christmas Eve Eve) on the way to work.  Disturbingly, they didn’t check that I was the owner of the billfold.  (They could have just opened it and looked at the photograph on my driver’s license.)  Surprisingly, it was chock full of stuff.  I had forgotten just how thick my billfold used to be.  There was not any money in it, but I may not have had any in it when I lost it.

Among the useful things I found were:

  • $15 in Taco Bell gift certificates.  See My Taco Sauce Wisdom blog article for a thrilling explanation of why I once had hundreds of dollars worth of these.
  • $32.26 credit at the Booklegger–and not just general credit.  It was the more valuable “Sci-Fi” credit.  (More valuable because it can be used for Sci-Fi or General.)
  • A fully punched “punch card” for a free soft drink or Icee at Kangaroo.
  • A card for a free Chick-fil-a sandwich.
  • Notes on a communion talk I was writing.

Among the useless things I found were:

  • A card good for a free chips & dip at Q’doba.  (For the uniformed, they went out of business while my billfold was lost.)
  • A “punch card” for Bellicino’s good for a free sub that only needed one more punch.  (Again, same song, second verse.  And yes, I do seem to have a bunch of them don’t I?)
  • A coupon for buy-one-get-one-free-lunch that expired in June 2007.  And it didn’t have the restaurant’s name on it anyway.
  • A McDonalds “Arch Card” with zero balance.
  • An unpunched and expired “punch card” for Cost Cutters.  (BTW, note to Danny Holmes:  I can’t think about Cost Cutters punch cards without thinking about your story.  If you know Danny, have him tell it to you.)
  • Lots of canceled credit cards.

So, it was my early Chirstmas present to myself.  And even though it cost me a lot more than it was worth (puase here tothink about that briefly if you need to), it is, afterall, the thought that counts.


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