Wayne’s Word

November 29, 2008

When Football Meets Reality, a Brief Manifesto in Three Parts

Filed under: General — Wayne @ 4:59 pm

Part 1: A Short Morality Play

You know the typical Sunday-morning or Monday-morning conversation between two rabid football fans:  whining, bragging and complaining about the game.   Now, imagine for a moment what that conversation would be like it one of those stereotypical football fans was replaced by a rational human being.

Rabid Fan: Did you see that game?  We sure whooped ‘um!

Rational Human: I didn’t know you played football for (insert name of college or university).

Rabid Fan: Oh, I don’t.

Rational Human: You went to school there?

Rabid Fan: Uh, no.

Rational Human: You used to play for them?

Rabid Fan: Uh, no.

Rational Human: Your son plays for them, maybe?

Rabid Fan: Uh, no.  Why do you ask?

Rational Human: But you “whooped ‘um”?

Rabid Fan: Yeah, we sure did!

Part 2, A Modern Proverb

The shortest path to misery is basing your self esteem on the outcome of an event over which you have no control.

Part 3, A Mantra

Breath slowly and deeply and repeat:

It’s just a football game, and I’m not playing*

* Unless, of course, you are playing.  In which case, get out there and whoop ‘um.


And don’t even get me started about professional football.  Why should I care whether a corporation’s group of overpaid employee-athletes wins a contest against another corporation’s group of overpaid employee-athletes?


1 Comment »

  1. I’m the daughter of the world’s biggest Alabama fan… Go No Overtime!

    Comment by kellygoode — December 29, 2008 @ 9:45 pm | Reply

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